Up and over!

Everyone has seen those tiny girl gymnasts doing back and front flips along a ridiculously skinny bar, too many feet off the floor for my liking.
In the far gone days, when cars were made of thick metal with the same again in layers of paint; when they weighed a ton or two, had tyres with inner tubes, and their top speed was maybe forty mph going downhill, one Willie McC, very much the worse for drink and driving home in the dark down a narrow road with high banks to either side of it, did some sort of a flip, and the car landed on its roof on the top of a beech hedge. No joke!
Beech hedges were as high as they were broad, say seven feet, and the trees that formed them were thick and sturdy, not likely to give out in any way, for their job was to break the heavy winds that plagued the area, and to prevent blown snow from drifting onto the roads.
Willie wasn’t hurt – God takes care of fools and drunk men – but neither was he believed when he told the police that a flying saucer had tried to abduct him and the car. He walked to the station, still full of beer and bubbling indignation, determined to lay a charge against the alien attack. The police put him in a cell to sleep off his drink, thinking that maybe he’d suffered a case of the DTs, a not unknown condition with him.
The next morning they went to the scene, and sure enough, there was the little blue car on the hedge, wheels in the air, and apart from its unexpected location, it didn’t appear to have suffered any damage at all, save for the odd unavoidable scratch on the roof paintwork. There were no skid marks on the road, no signs of sharp braking, no damaged bushes or grass, no way of deducing how that heavy old Austin 8 had arrived where it did.
I saw it; the school bus slowed down so we could take a look, and the incident was a seven day wonder in the village.
The final conclusion was that superior aliens had to have put the car up there, as Willie said, so perfect was its position, for the local Earthlings had the Devil’s own job getting it down again.


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